Sometimes it seems as though i feel things...in excess. It isn't hurt...it's pain, it isn't happy it's joyous.
But to feel such pain in a moment meant to be so joyous is....confusing to say the least. To be so stressed and feel suffocated with mediocrity in a position i also thrive in is....the very definition of frustration for me.
The harder i try the deeper i dig, and if i lay the shovel down....i immediately feel as though i've begun sinking, somehow loosing the very ground i was working so hard to break through. While both appear to continue moving me forward in my pursuit, neither seems to come with any certain satisfaction or exceptional reward.
It sometimes feels as though the best things that have happened in my life have been through luck or chance, and as though the things i truly strive towards always seem just out of reach. Does a watched pot truly never come to boil? Is the only way to achieve the perfect cup of tea to in fact ignore the process altogether until the finished product is in hand and ready for your enjoyment?
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